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Befouled by the Sacred​:​Love Is a Callus

by Shroud Of Despondency

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1.
Love is a callus I've nothing left in me A callous distance widens Reaches the burning sea Befouled by the sacred What is so precious that I'd hold my head high? A precious many renounced For the burning blue sky Befouled by the hallowed Befouled, grotesque Befouled by the hallowed Befouled, grotesque
2.
Deathless dim, consequence of Persistent energy of Adapting to the light of Civilized or born to serve I must want to writhe I must seek sick spite Coil around myself Coil or be burned bright Order through chaos Chaos through order Order can't matter When the end is the same Cut flesh burns the same Pulled hair in the flames Smells the same as hair Once given a name All shit smells the same Gives new life Deathless dim, consequence of Persistent energy of Adapting to the light of Enlightened or barbaric Deathless dim Never seeing the shadow upon us Symptomatic of the problem Never wanting aphotic conditions Submitting to a claim "less malicious" Never seeing the shadow upon us Symptomatic of the problem Never wanting aphotic conditions Submitting to a claim "less malicious"
3.
Just a speck, pick a form As soon as the man is born A case is cast, an ego torn Next to no one mourns A century is too long Three quarters sounds just right Even less with the right To end one's own life Just one blot in one sphere The tiniest of frontiers Some words spoken, some cavalier No one reappears Millenniums are so short How long can one mind last? Even when he writes or his thoughts are erudite Of an immense age yet still seeing the hopeless Of an immense age that knows only the despondent Entitlement or observation? Objectivity or projection? Of an immense age yet still gnawing and flailing Of an immense age with contemporary gnashing Calm acceptance or fierce resentment? Self debasement or foolish honor? Fear-burning inside of every life Live-always looking over a shoulder Bear-heavy burdens and maddening strife Strive-to burn eyes through the night Stars-glaring like fire Just a speck, pick a form As soon as the man is born A case is cast, an ego torn Next to no one mourns A century is too long Three quarters sounds just right Even less with the right To end one's own life Next to no one mourns Next to no one mourns Next to no one mourns Of an immense age
4.
Wolfbiter 12:07
Room of skulls Can't fall asleep when I try They have to want to let me die Nothing's null All the meaning in the lies Choose this time to terrorize Terror rise Terror rise Room of skulls Can't fall asleep when I try They have to want to let me die Let me die Make me sleep Let me die Make me sleep Let me die Make me sleep Temporarily fixated and mutilated Nothing ever heals quite right Temporarily entranced and degraded Decadence always in sight Day revitalized by night Day revitalized by night Normalized-this is the way The path to feeling glory Consciousness made of clay No ending to the story Normalized-this is the way The path to feeling glory Consciousness made of clay No ending to the story And the details must be gory In the moments I am gnawing Nothing conscious in my mind Like all the dreams of falling Then red overtakes the white I can't breathe I can't breathe Day revitalized by night Day revitalized by night I can't breathe To its' hull The grain rots, I can surmise In my dead land of new wine Room of skulls Can't fall asleep when I try They have to want to let me die I can't breathe With eyes wide open I dream I can crawl away From heaven, from humans, from all consciousness Convinced of a better day With eyes wide open A heavy heart can put me down To the ground, underneath, free from consciousness Convinced blood should be found Convinced of a better day Convinced blood should be found Convinced of a better day Convinced blood should be found Convinced of a better day Convinced blood should be found Convinced of a better day Convinced blood should be found
5.
Where does it go? Where does it go? Where does the light go when depth overtakes the surface? Where does it go? Where does it go? Where does the depth go when the surface returns? The relentless nature of the cycle of life Is that too much light causes the burns That burn through the day, on into the night That wreak havoc on might The law of diminishing returns Tipping points on into eternity The unbearable nature of the darkness of truth Is that shadows glisten in the mist For all of the missed in the prime of their youth Everything dies too soon The law of diminishing returns Tipping points on into eternity Random, defined, unholy, divine Recovery transforms into brevity Transform into brevity Die before your prime It's all surface after that No depth, intrigue, or disguise Just loved ones watching you die Die before your prime It's all surface after that No depth, intrigue, or disguise Just loved ones watching you die Watching you die
6.
Gnaw at flesh Writhe in pain Don't forget the origin Down inside That anxious mind Something was made forbidden Stand outside Oversee Other numbness can set you free Life is reborn Abundant and nullified Gnaw at flesh Writhe in pain Don't forget the origin Down inside That anxious mind Something was made forbidden Stand outside Oversee Other numbness can set you free Life is reborn Abundant and nullified Where is the freedom promised me? In that place that wants me cold I question my right I question the gifts given to me I question the pride Taken in giving those gifts to me I question the time The time you were so kind to me Question those in their prime And you will find the one indifferent Savage Climb mountains to climb back down Find the one on the ground to laugh out loud Hear your voice, contemplate, and regret The times when silence was ideal You couldn't force yourself to feel Predator and an unseen meal Just begging to be hungry Then a troublesome thing called consciousness Develops, integrates, and defeats Instincts that could be useful To minds that are far from youthful Reality should be brutal So it can be kind All cycles grow old It's how they begin All cycles grow old Regressive again All cycles grow old It's how they begin All cycles grow old Regressive again Eat more than the tail Move up to the head All cycles grow old Self-defeat again Self-defeat again Gnaw at flesh Writhe in pain Don't forget the origin Down inside That anxious mind Something was made forbidden Stand outside Oversee Other numbness can set you free Life is reborn Abundant and nullified Gnaw at flesh Writhe in pain Don't forget the origin Down inside That anxious mind Something was made forbidden Stand outside Oversee Other numbness can set you free Life is reborn Abundant and nullified
7.
Where the rain doesn't stop And the water never pools Tired of the thing I need Where the beads just reflect Or help disperse the specks Of every human I haven't seen I don't know what I need Kept sacred The metamorphosis So it consumes those who need it Kept sacred The metamorphosis Or it rapes those who seek it Where the child never grows And the adult doesn't die Thankful for what I can't hold dear Where the laughs just reflect Off walls one couldn't suspect Even gratitude amounts to fear I can not hold you dear Kept sacred The metamorphosis So it consumes those who need it Entranced by The end of bloodline So I transform my worry into purgatory Too old or maybe just too frail Desensitized to the animal's wail Or attracted to the cause of hunger Willing to consume my tail Too cold or maybe just in pain Wanting something with the interest I fein Or attracted to forms of emptiness Willing to wait for my gain Willing to wait for my gain My gain Willing to wait for my gain My gain
8.
Cracked Hull 16:03
Cold-A sweat that breaks out in the dark A fire without a spark Dreams that fill the head that can not sleep Embers that burn underneath Nerves once struck while the sunlight glistened On those who would not listen Signs ignored by all those in sick love Who hear sick words from above Breathe out once more, a smoke ring stains the floor A cracked hull reaches some shore Some lonely, lifeless shore A cracked hull reaches some shore Some lonely,lifeless shore Nothing left inside the mind Silence, mark my words Personalized afterlife will soon torment All that lovely hate Kept down inside will be all that can be felt Nothing left inside the mind Nothing left inside the mind Silence, mark my words Personalized afterlife will soon torment All that lovely hate Kept down inside will be all that can be felt Nothing left inside the mind Words with regret, with verity With emotion comes vulgarity Reward systems based on tension Embrace barbarity The first action, words set one free A lashing out with prosperity Reward systems based on tension Embrace disparity Embrace barbarity Embrace disparity Embrace barbarity So you can be free You can be free Seethe Gnash Speak Regret Then the sick nights set in Then the worry begins Sick nights(worry, worry, worry) Set in(gnashing, gnashing, gnashing) Then the sick nights set in Then the worry begins Then everything torments Then it all starts all over again Sick nights(worry, worry, worry) Set in(gnashing, gnashing, gnashing) Wake up on the floor Or just another lifeless shore Cracked hull now your lore Survive the wild, survive night Wake up on the floor Or just another lifeless shore Cracked hull now your lore Survive the wild, survive night Then the anger sets in Then frustration begins Then everything torments And the words bubble up again I don't know what I need I don't know what I need I don't know what I need I don't know what I need

about

This is the metal portion of a writing binge I experienced in late 2018 and the first half of 2019. It is both the most personal and analytical album I have written. The writing process itself was different than it's ever been before, and was certainly done with more intention than any album since "Tied to a Dying Animal." It is, in a sense, intended to alienate both casual listeners and long time fans. It is how I celebrate 20 years. Befouled by the Sacred, as a two part whole, is literally every piece of music I wrote during this binge. The non metal portion of the album will be found on an upcoming album entitled "Befouled by the Sacred:Crisis Intervention."

The word sacred, as it relates to the title, does not have any spiritual or religious meaning. It is simply a way to reference love. Love of creation, of self, of another, etc. Because of the nature of the lyrics, it felt best for me to perform them. Long time vocalist and friend, Ron Blemberg, will again be heard cackling and rasping on future Shroud of Despondency tracks.


Musically speaking, I really wanted to embrace some different influences of mine. I also wanted to develop my guitar playing through experimentation with slower tempos.
Influences for this album: Evoken, Skepticism, Unholy, Dusk, Edge of Sanity, Pan.Thy.Monium, Ruins of Beverast, Necros Christos, Bolzer, Cobalt, Morbid Angel, Gorguts, Immolation, Neurosis, Emperor, Sonic Youth, Tool.

"Look sharply after your own thoughts. They come unlooked for, like a new bird seen on your trees, and, if you turn to your usual task, disappear; and you shall never find that perception again; never, I say-but perhaps years, ages, and I know not what events and worlds may lie between you and its return."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

credits

released August 14, 2019

Rory Heikkila-All instruments, vocals, and programming.

Thank you to Ron Blemberg and Dave Warner for art work assistance.

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Shroud Of Despondency Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Shroud of Despondency was formed by Rory Heikkila in the late 1990's.

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